What Is and What Should Never Be
Original Air Date 05/03/2007

While hunting a genie, Dean finds himself transported to an alternate reality where his mother is alive, Sam is in law school and engaged to Jessica, and Dean lives a normal life with his girlfriend. But the vision of a strange girl makes him wonder where he really is.

Notes

Writer

Raelle Tucker

Director

Eric Kripke

Guest Stars:

Adrianne Palicki (Jessica)
Samantha Smith (Mary)
Michelle Borth (Carmen)
Melanie Neige Scrofano

Other Guests:

Filming Locations:

Deer Lake Park
West 58th Ave

Completely Useless Trivia:

Dream car plates: RMD 5H2

Rachel Nave, Sam's prom date, co-wrote the episode "Bugs"

Review

I knew it! I knew I would love this episode more than all the rest! I have always wanted to know what Dean would do if ever faced with the choice of a normal life. This was a great answer with a fathomless pool of emotion behind it and I soaked in as much as I could! I humbly bow before Jensen's superb acting; there are sparks of genius showing tonight.

This episode dives right in with Dean meeting up with the Djinn within the first five minutes. A creepy looking guy covered in tattoos, he catches Dean by the throat, knocks the knife away, and puts a glowing hand to Dean's head. There is another fine example here of the details that make this show so good. When the Djinn affects Dean's mind and fulfills his wish, Dean's eyes roll back into his head and they have a gray tone that foreshadows his fate if he doesn't escape. (And it looks freaky too.) Flash the flaming title card and. show the B movie marathon? This is perfect; I can't picture Dean watching anything but horror movies. Thunder booms outside waking him, and he sits up and into the frame. I love when they do that, don't ask me why. Ladies will appreciate the toned shoulders and chest, thanks to TPTB for not making him sleep in a t-shirt! He may have called Jo a butcher, but she seems to have done a fine job of patching up his wounded shoulder; I can't see any trace of a scar. Beside him in the bed is the back and bare leg of a very shapely woman but the look on his face tells us he doesn't know who she is. Out in the living room he finds a stack of mail addressed to himself and Carmen Porter, #53 Barker Ave, Lawrence KS, 66044. I'm pleased that they included a guitar amongst the living room décor, it gives me hope that they might let Dean sing some more in the future. Pictures around the room attest to their relationship with an assortment of the usual candid boy-girl shots, but the one that catches his eye sits in the place of honour next to the sofa. Shocked at what he sees, he turns and leaves the apartment, dropping the photo behind him.

The impala pulls up outside a familiar house. He bangs on the door and rings the bell impatiently until the door is opened. Unable to believe his own eyes, he looks at his mother questioningly. She invites him in but before he can accept this reality he feels the need to test her. He asks what she used to tell him when she tucked him into bed as a child. She answers with "angels are watching over you", which we know is the right answer from the Houses of the Holy episode. He pulls her into a relieved hug, barely containing the overwhelming emotions he feels. Another wall of photographs tell the story of a long and happy family life together. Sam's graduation, Dean and his prom date, John in a softball uniform. Again, fine attention to detail here. They've done a really good job of photoshopping actual pictures from Jensen and Jared's youth into Winchester family photos. But the real treasure in this scene is the reflection of Dean's face in the glass of the picture of all four Winchesters smiling happily at the camera. What an excellent example of double entendre; by showing his reflection in the picture, they not only express that he can see himself living this happy life, but also that this two-dimensional life is all in his head. Sadly, John is dead. Mary says he died in his sleep from a stroke, which is a relief to Dean. She doesn't understand what he means when he says it's better than the alternative.

He wakes up the next morning on his mother's sofa, the sun is shining, birds are singing and he opens his eyes to a photo of a long-ago Winchester Christmas. The relief is evident on his face that it wasn't just a dream, but still he realizes that something isn't right. Taking a page from Sam's book he goes to the local university and questions a professor on the folklore regarding the Djinni. He learns that they have god-like powers and are able to alter human perception in any way that suits their purposes. He wonders aloud if this action is out of self-defense or if perhaps they're not evil at all. Curiosity makes him check the Impala's trunk, and in it he finds only some discarded fast-food containers and a couple of Maxim magazines. "Who'd have thought, baby" he chuckles, "we're civilians." But even as he says the words, he looks up to see a girl staring at him from across the road. She stands dead still, watching him with an emotionless face. He walks towards her but when a car honks loudly capturing his attention, she disappears.

Back at Mary's house, I have to ask why, why WHY does Dean always cram his mouth full to overflowing with food, then talk with it half hanging out? Not that it isn't endearing, you know, in an elementary school sort of way but still. Despite the half-chewed hunk of sandwich hanging out of his face, there is some more excellent acting from Jensen here. He comments that the lawn needs cutting, and can't contain his joy at the idea of mowing it himself. When his mom says "you'd think you've never mowed a lawn in your life", he gives a thoughtful eye-roll out the window that speaks volumes to we viewers in the know. Outside in the bright sunshine, he blissfully pushes the machine up and down the lawn to the tune of "It's a Wonderful World", carefully avoiding the brightly painted garden gnome and waving to the neighbor in a delightfully overstated example of suburban normalcy. He's sitting on the step admiring his work when Sam pulls up in his robin's-egg blue rental car. (Yes, I have to emphasize the colour; it always cracks me up when they exaggerate Sam's feminine side.) Note the beautiful pink blossoms on the Japanese Plum trees behind Sam in this shot. There's a great story about that, ask me if you want to know more. Dean is so surprised to see Jessica alive and well that he pulls her into a bear hug the second she's out of the car. He questions Sam about the trip and realizes that they've come from California and that Sam is still safely enrolled at Stanford. Sam also reminds him that today is their mother's birthday.

Out for a birthday dinner, Dean looks around the table with contentment in his eyes. Sam and Jess are happy, his mom is alive, and he's got a beautiful woman of his own. Sam takes the opportunity to announce his engagement but as everyone is hugging and congratulating, Dean again sees the girl from the university. Unlike earlier, she looks injured and sickly, and the look on her face is more agonized than before. Again, she stares at him from across the room and as he moves towards her he's distracted by a waiter. When he looks back she has disappeared, leaving his bewildered family staring at him like he's a few cards short of a deck.

Back at the house, Mary, Sam and Jess want to turn in for the night, but Dean wants to go out and celebrate their engagement. Sam isn't too thrilled with the idea and he pulls Dean aside for a private conversation. Surprised at Dean's sudden change of attitude, Sam starts with "since when do you call me Sammy?" then goes on to remind him of past grievances; his stolen ATM card, Dean's absence at his graduation, and of course there's Rachel Nave. Sam's prom date. On prom night. "Yeah, that does kind of sound like me" Dean replies. This is the first flaw we see in his perfect world, the look in his eyes when Sam rejects him shows a hint of hidden pain. Back at his own place, Dean sits on the sofa lost in thought. Carmen interrupts him with a bottle of his favourite beer. She asks if he's all right and he answers that he can fix things with Sam. He feels like he's been given a second chance and he doesn't want to waste it. He then tells her that he gets why she's "the one" and proceeds to kiss her. Normally I would expand on this, but the green-eyed monster in me has already dragged Carmen off the sofa, thrown her screaming out of the window and proceeded to take her place for the remainder of the sofa scene. Since I don't kiss and tell, you'll have to make do with your own ideas for that little portion of the show. When she cuts him short and says she has to get ready for her night shift, we find out she's a nurse. Dean comments "I'm dating a nurse. That's so. respectable!" (.and I was totally expecting him to use the word "naughty"! lol) Shame on her for working the night shift on Thursdays, doesn't she know Supernatural is on???

Dean settles in for a night in front of the TV, flipping channels through an infomercial, the stock market news, the Thundercats (yes, again) and stopping when he sees a news story about the crash of United Britannia flight 424. Realizing that's the crash he and Sam averted he checks the internet for other occurrences. He finds that all of his past hunts never happened, and all the people he saved have died. We see flight 424 from Phantom Traveler, the comatose children from Something Wicked, the murders from Skin, and the drowning of Tyler from Playthings. As Dean reads, he sees the shape of the strange girl move into the bedroom. A scratching sound comes from the closet, and when he opens the door there are two dried and decaying bodies hanging inside. The girl re-appears in the mirror looking much more seriously injured than last time, and her clothes have gone from their original white to a dingy gray. As Dean watches, she flickers and disappears, and turning back to the closet he finds the bodies have disappeared as well. Not knowing who else to turn to, he visits his father's grave, telling him that every person that he, John or Sam had ever saved is now dead. He goes on to tell about the girl who keeps appearing, that it's like his old life is coming after him, that it doesn't want him to be happy. (Technical glitch here when Dean says "there's this woman haunting me" and "I know what you'd say", his lips don't move.) This is a really well written scene; Dean is able for the first time in his life to voice his true feelings about his life as a hunter. He quotes what he thinks his dad would say; go hunt the Djinn and get back to the life he knew, the life where he saved so many people. And in this quiet place where it's just him and his father's headstone, he's able to ask the question he's needed to ask for so long. Why? Why does it have to be his job to save people? Why shouldn't his mother live a long and happy life? Why does he have to sacrifice his own happiness to be a hero and to save strangers? But even as he asks the question, he already knows the answer. Wiping away the free-flowing tears from his face, he goes to do what must be done.

Again, a stroke of brilliance in the writing of this episode. In an almost perfect mirror of the pilot episode, Sam is awakened in the night by the sound of someone breaking glass in the house. Leaving Jessica sleeping in the bed, he moves through the dark rooms to catch the intruder. When he sees a shape bending over the china cabinet, he swings with a baseball bat. Caught by surprise, he's flipped to the floor and pinned by Dean, who quips "that was so easy I'm embarrassed for you!" They stand up and, silhouetted against the moonlight through the window, Sam asks the familiar question "what are you doing here?" and Dean answers "I was looking for a beer." But when Sam flips on the lights he sees that Dean has his mother's good silver out of the china cabinet and, thinking he knows his brother, he accuses him of stealing. Dean offers him the "truth", saying that he owes a bookie money and needs to pay it back tonight. Taking one silver knife he apologizes to Sam and says that this is something he has to do. He goes on to say "tell mom I love her." And with a sad goodbye he leaves the house. As he sits in the Impala pondering his choices, the passenger door opens and Sam climbs in. Dean warns him away, saying he'll only slow him down, but Sam insists on coming along. Touched by the show of brotherly love, Dean looks Sam in the eye and says "Bitch." Sam, looking confused, asks why he'd call him a bitch. Dean tells him he's supposed to call him a jerk, but Sam just doesn't get it.

On the long drive back to Illinois and the Djinn's lair, Sam asks about the bag on the seat. When Dean won't tell him what it is, he looks for himself and finds a jar of blood. Dean confesses that he needs a silver knife dipped in lambs blood to fight the Djinn. Sam freaks out and tells him to stop the car. When he won't stop, Sam pulls out his phone and starts to dial. In a perfect Dean-ism, he wordlessly rolls down the window, grabs Sam's phone and tosses it out onto the street. Much later, they arrive at the old warehouse. Dean wakes Sam by shining his flashlight in his eyes in typical big brother fashion, and Sam asks where they are. Dean laughs and says "we're not in Kansas anymore" but poor Sammy just doesn't get the joke. Inside the warehouse they search the rooms and hallways for any sign of the Djinn, eventually coming across two bodies, exactly as Dean saw them in his closet. A little farther in and he sees the girl who's been appearing to him, also hanging by her wrists with what looks like an IV bag attached to her jugular. The girl is whimpering incoherently and asking for her dad. Dean hears the Djinn coming and he tells Sam to be quiet and hide. The Djinn touches the girl with a glowing blue hand and tells her to sleep. Her head drops and she falls still once again. The Djinn unplugs the IV tube from the bag and, holding it over his open mouth proceeds to drink her blood straight from the tube. Sam is so shocked by this that, no longer having the control of a hunter, he lets out a gasp. The Djinn hears and looks for the source of the sound but doesn't find the two boys. Looking at the girl once again, Dean realizes that the Djinn doesn't really grant wishes, it only makes you think it has. The thought opens a door in his mind, and with the flickering of an overhead light bulb he sees flashes of himself hanging by his wrists in this dungeon of a room. Directly under the light, his limp body hangs with open eyes, his own IV bag already partially filled with blood.

The realization sets in with a feeling of dread. Dean realizes that the girl is appearing to him not because she's a spirit, but because Dean is in the same room with her catching flashes of reality through his dream. If only he could snap out of it, maybe he'd be okay. At this point Sam starts to push in earnest for them to leave. He's afraid that the Djinn will come back and he want's to get out while they can. When he grabs Dean and pulls him towards the door Dean slaps his hand away, a look of determination sharpening his features. Pulling out the knife, he explains to a terrified Sam that the old wives' tale says that a person who's about to die in a dream will wake up. Sam argues that he'll just die, but Dean doesn't care; at least he'll know the truth. As he readies the knife Sam shouts "WAIT!" Dean looks up to see Mary appear, wearing the nightgown from the night she was killed. Behind Sam Carmen appears, then Jess. Together the four of them try to talk him out of it, asking him to stay. He tells Mary that if he stays, he'll die within a few days, but Mary says to him it will feel like years. Jess reminds him that he won't have to worry about Sam, and Carmen steps in with a passionate kiss, telling him they can have a family of their own. Moved by thoughts of this happy life, Dean looks torn. Sam steps forward and mimics Dean's words from the cemetery; "why is it our job to save everyone? Haven't we done enough?" Although it's clearly the hardest choice he's ever had to make, Dean tightens his grip on the knife and with an "I'm sorry" for Sam he plunges it into his chest.

Sam shouts his name, and as we watch, the golden light surrounding them fades to a dim blue-gray. Sam repeats the name and steps forward to show us a sickly looking Dean hanging by his wrists. Eyes open but staring vacantly, Dean looks to be on the edge of death. As Sam shakes him he comes around, and taking only a second to realize what happened, Dean says "Auntie Em. There's no place like home." Sadly, Sam still doesn't get the joke. Sam pulls the needle from his neck but before he can cut the ropes Dean sees the Djinn appear from the shadows. Calling a warning to Sam, there's barely enough time for Sam to turn before the Djinn has him by the neck, silver knife falling to the ground just as it did with Dean. Knowing his brother is in danger, Dean uses all his strength to break what's left of the rope holding him. As Sam tries to hold the Djinn's hand away from his head, Dean takes only a second to snatch up the knife and plunge it into the Djinn's back. The blue light flashes and fades from his eyes and the creature is dead. Tired but alive, Dean turns his attention to the girl still hanging nearby and finds that she's still alive, albeit looking very sallow and ill. Her skin is gray and chalky, her eyes half open. They pull the needle from her neck and cut her down, and as he holds her in his arms Dean is relieved to hear her again start to whimper.

In the hotel room Dean flips through a magazine, recognizing fragments of his dream life within its pages. A full-page ad shows Carmen lying on the beach in the exact same pose as in the pictures from their apartment. It's an ad for El Sol beer, Dean's "favourite". Sam is on the phone getting an update from the hospital, girl is doing fine, and Dean is feeling better. He shares some of the dream life with Sam, and when Sam asks if it wasn't supposed to be a perfect fantasy, Dean explains that it was just a wish. The wish was that their mom hadn't died. Because of that, they never learned to hunt and therefore never bonded like they have now. Sam tells him that he's glad Dean got out. Most people wouldn't have had the strength. In a rare moment of open sharing, Dean confesses how much he wanted to stay. With a tired, defeated look he tells how much he feels they've had to sacrifice, how much they've lost in their own lives. Sam encourages him by saying that it's worth it if they think about how many lives have been saved, but Dean doesn't seem convinced. The burden is wearing him down and that's clearer now than ever before.

As I said at the beginning, there was some brilliant acting in this episode. This closing scene is proof enough of that. Every move, every nuance is perfect. Dean's longing for normalcy shines off the screen and tugs at the heartstrings. Sam's empathy is a gentle expression of his love for his brother. At any other time I'm sure Dean would tease him about it but here the two are being honest with themselves and each other, and with honesty comes trust. As I've said before, I'm often awed by Jensen's acting talent and tonight I'm thrilled that they gave him such a wide range of emotions to portray. I have the greatest respect for someone who can play both the charming rogue and tortured soul with equal mastery. While Jared had less to work with tonight, he still did a good job of showing us wussy Sam. It's hard to watch the multi-faceted and complex Sam we know and love become the single-minded and almost selfish Sam from this dream world, and although he'd be safe in this demon-free place I'm sure it wouldn't be enough to make him happy. Sam was born to help people, just as Dean was born to protect.

What Is and What Should Never Be Original Air Date 05/03/2007